Ashes of Angels
by rorymoriarty
Summary: Gabriel had always been on neither side. All the time. Horizons of blood appearing on vertical rain. He couldn't pick anymore. Gabriel/Lucifer. S5E19 spoilers.


_AU. Hammer of the Gods. S5E19.  
>M because of violence and whatevers. <em>

Like all the times he had seen Lucifer in his secondary vessel, it didn't feel right for Gabriel. The red spots from where the skin was getting worn make him feel sick. Not because Lucifer was using a secondary vessel, but because it didn't show the true beauty of him. He had seen him once possessing Nick without any problems but that had already been a while ago. Now, facing his brother with one of the most lethal and most heartbreaking decisions he had ever made, he wanted that vessel to come back, without the spots, without everything that ruined him.

He held up the angelic blade, which was more a shield than a sword to him because he didn't want to kill Lucifer, he just wouldn't be able to kill him. Lucifer was still his brother and even though Gabriel was an angel, he had been too much between humans to say he couldn't feel emotions anymore. He was maybe the angel who felt the most emotions, the fallen not counted though he was balancing on the edge, his wings cracked and broken by the burdens.

"Gabriel, honestly? Are you giving up every bit of sense and pride and dignity in your body for _them?_ These so called Gods?" Lucifer's emotions switched between old anger towards a species lower than humans, lower than demons and fresh hurt, a stinging pain flaring through his body when he saw Gabriel defending Kali.

"No, not for them. For humans." He raised the blade as Lucifer came closer, trying to avoid the bloody arm – or the hammer of the devil – at all costs because he knew what would happen if he allowed Lucifer to touch him. And even if it wasn't his death, he still wouldn't allow it because he had always had problems keeping sane when being with Lucifer.

Lucifer lowered his arm again, his head falling to the right as he stared at his brother with momentarily confusion. "For these abortions? All your pride, Gabriel, for a bunch of flawed abortions that do nothing but murder each other? Gabriel, _my_ Gabriel, what have you become? I would think your heart has changed its position, but I know better."

Gabriel's expression changed from confident to hurt, deeply hurt and momentarily dropped the blade. Lucifer smirked, turning around to interrupt the real blade in the middle of its movements. "You know, Gabe, _darling,_ your heart will always be where it belongs. In Hell, with me, locked in its own precious cage."

Lucifer's eyes showed such a passion that Gabriel had difficulty choosing between getting burned by them or drowning in them. "Lucifer, don't do this to me." He stared down, at the tip of the blade that was dangling loosely, oh so loosely, between Lucifer's fingers but he knew that from the moment he even tried to reach out for it the blade would land in his heart, held by Lucifer's firm grip. "Lucifer, you're my brother. I love you."

As soon as he had said the words, an icy silence fell over them, drumming slow and loud in their ears. He didn't blink because knew the tears would slip from under his eyelashes if he did. So he just stared at his brother, the person who once meant so much to him, with so much mixed emotions that the hate was ripping his heart, filled with something one could define as love, apart. It was a battle inside his head, his heart and it hurt him more than any blade ever could.

Lucifer's slender fingers grabbed themselves a hold in his hair, forcing him to look at his brother. His eyes, however floated with tears, begged to be shut for just a second as they burned so hard he feared they were going to dry out. He didn't obey. He needed to stay strong, to never cry in front of his brother because Lucifer was finally feeling something not many Angels had ever felt and Gabriel had felt too much: emotion. Between all the anger, the only emotion most Angels once felt, there were bits and pieces of another one, or other ones. Grief and maybe sparkle of Remorse but there was no way in that in the whole of Lucifer's body there was one bit, one tiny bit that felt Love.

"But you're not on my side, are you, _brother_?" He flinched at the sudden tone Lucifer used to spit out the last word. The angelic blade tickled his skin through the thin fabric of his skin and ended up resting against his chest. No matter how much he wanted to pull away, he couldn't. The touch of his brother was hot and freezing at the same time and he melted and froze over and over again.

"Lucifer," he muttered, "Luci, please." He shifted on his knees, scraping over the cold, tile floor as if he was some sort of slave. Lucifer's hands moved with him, pulling and pushing him all over the place with little force. How fewer the torture, the more it hurt for him and with only a firm grip in hair, Gabriel felt like Lucifer was murdering him without any problems. He had always tried to stay out of his brothers' conflicts, always tried to outlive them without doing a single thing and now he was getting murdered by the one he loved most.

One single, lonely tear slid over his cheek, ripping his mask in two and as the tear dropped on Lucifer's hand, the mask hit the ground, hard and with so little noise it was deafening. He couldn't hold himself up anymore, all the smugness and self esteem had dropped onto the ground and seeped into it slowly.

"You're so _human_, Gabriel." Lucifer seemed properly disgusted with his brother, friend, enemy and something that balanced on the edge of lover. "I can see why you are so desperate to defend them. You have turned into one of them and you never realized it." With a smooth move of one of his hands, the blade shot up and cut open Gabriel's shirt. The tip of the blade barely touched Gabriel's skin but at the same time it touched it so much a bright red line appeared from the navel to his chin.

"Or maybe you have." His lips were dangerously close to Gabriel's, who shivered so violently, that their lips often touched in the slightest and most burning touches ever. The blade poked him over and over again with such a soft touch it pierced right through him, violently stabbing his heart over and over until he was a bleeding mess of emotions.

"Luci, why? You were always loved the most by Father. You are the beloved son, you have always been. He always loved you more, more than me, more than Michael and still you weren't satisfied. You had to break father's toys." With little sense and power to think, he just let the words stream out of his mouth in what seemed to be coherent sentences. He didn't care what Lucifer thought about him anymore, the pain of losing his brother and death looming around the corner, even though it was that brother that was the cause of it all, was a much stronger presence in his brain.

"Mind your tone, Gabriel." The blade shot from left to right, drawing an horizon of blood on Gabriel's chest. Gabriel flinched and managed to, with an overdose of bad luck, draw the blade in him, merely confirming his own death once more. He clung onto Lucifer's arm like it was the only thing able to save him. It wasn't, nothing could save him anymore from now on and even Lucifer noticed that. Everything hot had gone cold, everything cold had gone hot. The world was turning upside down completely and just between two brothers, two lovers.

"You shouldn't try to trick me, Gabe. Because, that is where your heart truly lies since I can't own it, it seems." The fingers wrapped themselves tightly around the blade like they had once had around his member. Only Lucifer's eyes weren't the color of honey and gold like they had been back then. They were diamonds, the color of ice sparkling in the bright light.

The bright white light, all the colors united in one flash hurt Lucifer's eyes but he kept them open whilst he pushed the angelic blade deeper into Gabriel's heart. The tears streaming out of eyes evaporated almost immediately from the minute they could encounter the air. As Gabriel became too hot to hold, Lucifer dropped him and the knife in an uncaring but at the same time concerned and elegant fashion, making the Archangel lie down in a way he should. Relaxed, in an unique way that was spoiled by the pained expression on his youthful face.

Lucifer swallowed hard, his breathing leaving at the speed of the wind as if it thought he deserved to die with Gabriel. Gabriel had always had more pride in him than Lucifer could ever imagine and his heart still belonged to Lucifer, otherwise the latter wouldn't have felt the pain as much as he did. He killed an innocent angel, who didn't stand up to his family because he was torn between family friendship and love, a decision too hard to make.


End file.
